ok so basically my ex bf who cheated on me then broke up w/ me is now goin out w/ one of my best friends, and he's sayin "yea all these girls ask me out but i say i can't" so i'm like wth u did w/ me so i wonder if it's cuz i don't put out like my friend i mean she's not a whore but when it comes to guys she goes a bit to far for a 14 year old and i'm surprised her parents even trust her w/ them anymore cuz trust me she's had a bad past

i met this guy on the net about 9 months ago and we hit it off really well and we were sleepin togethor as much as possible and i fell in love with him problem is he does not feel the same way about me and now i think he thinks im like a stalker or something because i cant stop thinking about him i love him so much and he basically considered me a longstanding booty callor as he put it,"exclusive friends". and even tho i know he dont want me for nothing but sex everytime he calls i give in and say yes then he leaves and i dont hear from him for a few days and when i ask him where i fit in his life he says he needs to find himself...since i divorced my husband of 14 years about a year ago this guy has been the only man ive felt remotely attracted to or close to what is wrong with me??????????

i live in a home for boys most of my life since i was 5 yrs old and my older/little sister lives far away from me and my older brother lives far away too i only live with my younger brother who is 14 i haven't see my other brother or little/older sister like in 2 yrs.
i feel like it was my fault that we got taken away and i feel that i have failed my brothers and sisters. There is one things that i dream is that my family gets back together my dad is in prison ever since iwas born idon't know him. my mom use to have a boyfriend that use to hit her and my bros,sisters. he use to be drunk all the time and she won't leave i don't know why. i don't know what trouble she is getting into now that i haven't talk to her in like 10 yrs so it might be worse since we are not around. now i wish i see him now i am a lot bigger since i was 5 and ican denfend my family so can my other brother we can espically kick his ass now. so i will be ready when i see him and give him back a ass kicking for that has been waiting for him for 10 yrs now. i can leave the boys home until i am 18 so just a couple of more yrs he will get it.

I feel completely lost. I had finished college and started a new career, and I hated it! I quit my job and haven't looked for anything in my field. I've been a housewife for the past couple weeks, but I know it's been looked down upon by everyone since I don't have kids. That's another thing = should I have a baby? I don't know! I thought I had everything figured out, but I don't. I'm just afraid because I'm getting older and I should have had enough time to "find myself". I'm really freaked out.

i have 2 groups of friends and they hate eachother. one group is the group of people in which i fit in. the other i am only friends with because 2 of them have been my best friends 4 a couple of years. the rest hate me and i dont even know them. my best friends got girlfriends and only hang around them. my 2 groups of friends hate eachother because after my 2 best friends got girlfriends, they ditched and ignored my other group of friends for 2-3 months. if i try to be friends with my best friends my other friends will burn and stab me to death(they brought knives and matches to school to try). truth is, im more afraid of them than friends with them.

I'm going to a church, non-denomination just to say, but there are a lot of pentecostals there.. and I've been going for about 6-8 months, now. But even though I'm very involved, a good 'witness' and in general a good caring, loving person, I'm not a Christian. Everyone at the church, all my friends, family, think that I'm a child of God, but I'm not.

My mother and father used to be Wiccan and Athiest respectively, though before I had never really cared to pay attention, but once I started going to church (through a friend,) my family got involved, got saved, and now the only person who knows I've never even been baptized is me.

I don't want to tell any of the church, even though they're my good friends, because of just that - they're my good friends, and I know telling them would harm their faith.. which I don't want to happen. My family... would probably be ashamed. There's just one person who I know over the net that knows I'm not christian, only because I never mentioned it to her - but she's very curious and smart, so she knows all of the story anyway. The thing is, she believes in Chaos Magic - the use of all religion's spells, rituals, and wishes. And I don't think I could do that.

Spiritually, I feel that there is something out there, but also spiritually, I don't feel pulled towards Christianity. Infact, the only place that feels comfortable is when I'm somehow near a Wiccan or Pagan object/person.

I'm really torn in-between a lot of stuff right now. Anyone who wants to say something, to reply to this, or even if it's just some words you want to say, you can get to me at thejesterskunk@cableone.net

~Signed,~
~Torn in two~