I finally told "him" that I loved "him" a while back, but I do not truly think that I do. I think that since we've gotten closer that I just really care for "him". He's such a sweet person, most times. I'm not really physically attracted to "him" either. I think I just like "his" presence because we've known each other a while and have talked a lot. I think I just want love, but I don't think I want "his". Or maybe I do, but I don't think I deserve it. I'm not shallow or anything, but I don't know... maybe I don't deserve "him". He has lots of problems....*sigh* I do too.

my cousin made me do sexual things with him when i was young... i think he's the reason why i turned out gay... which is why im scuicidal...

i just slept with someone else's man. they are engaged. they have a child together. i feel guilty about that but the thing i feel the worst about is n't the sex, it's the fact that i like him. a lot. and i know there is no hope, no nothing. so i feel the most guilty about cheating on myself.

The "guy" that I talk to is so suspicious of everything. It is getting me so agitated that I just do the stuff he may suspect me of doing behind his back. Of course he has no proof, but I do it anyway, because when I wasn't doing anything I got blamed and accused so I might as well do it... I don't feel bad about it either. The "guy" was too insecure for my liking anyway before so now I've made it to where he has something to be insecure about now. Too bad for him.

i'm bulimic and don't know why. i really have no reason to be nothing bad has ever happened to me. i don't want to stop i don't know what to do. but the only thing i'm worried about is my sister turning out like me.
i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

I'm afraid of being close to somebody else, I'm afraid of love and commitment. I don't think love exists. I believe I will be single for my whole life, because I can't let anybody be with me and I can't give myself a chance to be with somebody else. I also have a slight obsessive-compulsive disorder I suppose - I bite and pick my cuticles and lips until they bleed. :( And I really want to stop. The problem is, I don't know how, because I do it unconsciously. But I try. This might be little of a secret but I feel really embarrassed about doing it.

I can't say more...